So, I got some pushback from someone close to me about the last post. In the previous post, I mentioned how Jesus preaching at eye level was both dangerous and inconvenient. I encouraged my readers to challenge people (and their situations) when they make things inconvenient for you. I was told that inconvenience is a part of life and to dismiss others and avoid situations that impose inconvenience could come off as being inconsiderate. Let me give you two reasons it's important to be your own advocate.
1. It's simple. NO ONE ELSE WILL! Go back and read that again. No one else is going to advocate for you the way you will advocate for yourself. And it's not always because they don't care, but because there is no one else on this earth that knows what's best for you better than you. Others have to guess when you're uneasy. You KNOW when you're uneasy. Others need clues from your behavior to determine if you are annoyed. YOU are the one feeling it. There's no guessing for you because you are the one that feels it. With that being said, you are the perfect person to stand up for yourself. It's crazy to wait on someone else to act in your best interest. First of all, waiting on someone else to be good to you may never happen. And second of all, (and I hate to be so blunt here) most people don't care as much as you. I know that is a discouraging thought. However, it is true. Aside from those who are closest to you and love you the most, the rest of the world doesn't care. This even rings true for some family members. It's not always that they are selfish or mean. Often, it's mostly because they have a plethora of problems and a load to carry of their own which leaves them too mentally occupied to even consider yours.
2. When others continue to put a strain on you for your time, money, services, attention, etc. it will eventually cause you to feel operate in a place of resentment. No matter how much value you are providing, many people will only value the service that comes from you without valuing you as the vessel. In other words, don't get it twisted. Just because they are calling you or calling upon you doesn't necessarily mean that they are so in love with you as person. Oftentimes they really seek the treasure that you carry. Perhaps they like talking to you for hours because you bring them a sense of calm. Perhaps they come over so much because they enjoy your food. Or just maybe they are holding a meaningful conversation with you today because they know they will need to borrow a few dollars tomorrow. Either way, you have to stick to the principle of mutual benefit when giving so much of yourself. Sure, there will be times when you must sacrifice for someone you love. However, sacrifice should not occur daily and weekly for so many others.
I want you to begin practicing the rule of mutual benefit. This is something I created to keep myself from overextending myself when it comes to helping others. It means that when I decide to be generous, it must benefit both parties. If I can't lend, give, render a service or time, etc. for someone without it depleting me in some way, then I give them a hard no. This week I want you to consider this: how can you be happy and balanced if you can't give to yourself as much as you give OF yourself?
So, I stand firm on my stance about being continually inconvenienced. If doing so many various things are depleting you and your resources, you must make some adjustments and you must do it now. And remember this.... sometimes they answer is just "no".
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